The Self Accepting Liberal

If you had told me, ten years ago, that I would be listening to Black Eyed Peas’ Shut up as I begin to write this post, I’d have laughed at you, and taken a bet three times higher than I knew I could ever afford to honour. I’d have believed you outright on the writing, for I knew I was beginning to develop the ability to do so, but on the music? Get a life. Me? Listening to “worldly music”? Not in a million years. You might have wanted to spice the story up even more by saying there will be a song, featuring Eminem that I will like very much (Dr. Dre’s I need a doctor is now playing). I couldn’t stand Eminem back then. Let alone any rapper that wasn’t Christian. And at that time, it was either Gospel Gs or T-Bone. The rest filtered in later.

And why am I speaking hypotheses ten years in retrospect? Over the last few days I’ve been reading, discussing, and thinking about two things closely related to the Christian walk: Being Liberal and Self Acceptance. Let’s look briefly at the first.

What does one mean when they say they are ‘liberal’? Usually, we’ll relate this to them having an attitude that generally accepts even that which would not ordinarily be accepted by the opposite of a liberal – a conservative. Consequently, a liberal is more likely to be found in a bikini at the beach than a conservative. (excuse the example).

I probably should not belabour the ‘principle of the liberal’ too much. It is after all, a concept used in common parlance, whether with regard to ones political leanings, creed, and even sexual preferences. Let us now turn, briefly too, to the issue of self acceptance. The devotional my family is using this year set me thinking about this about a week or two ago. For a few days, it focused on themes like ‘loving yourself’ (get your mind out of the gutter), taking off our masks, seeing ourselves as we are, and self acceptance. Basically, we were encouraged, with reference to the bible and theology, to love ourselves for who we are, the way God would in spite of all he knows about us.

I find room for a wide interpretation of these concepts. Does it mean that the sinners we are (yes, we all are, according to Christianity at least), should let ourselves be, regardless? Let me rephrase this. If I have an inclination to the bottle, should I love me as I am, and make little or no effort to change, because God loves me as I am? I know this argument can be stretched to such matters as controversial as sexual orientation, but let us not go there just yet.

And where do the two concepts – liberal and self acceptance – converge? In my opinion, at the point, if it exists, where the outside meets the inside. The 'liberal' being your attitude to the actions of other people, and the inside being your attitude towards your actions. A liberal person is comfortable, in general, with the way of life, or actions of another person. A person who accepts themselves is, so to speak, comfortable in their own skin. And I dare say, usually it follows that a person who has accepted themselves, warts and all, is more likely to be liberal, to be more accommodating of others, than someone who is conservative.

I love music. That’s no secret. Growing up in high school, the environment was such that if I tapped my foot to a non-Christian song, I would be chastised, by both my Christian and non Christian friends. Consequently, I found any music that was not, strictly speaking, Christian, to be.... well... offensive. For a very long time, even ‘inspirational’ music did not quite cut it. Somewhere along the way, it became acceptable. With time, I would listen to oldies without ‘vulgar’ words. Then I got an excuse to listen to the music from my childhood. Over time, some contemporary music became okay, and long story short, I listen to it all now. Even Eminem, Tantric and Disturbed. And that’s not saying very much.

As I became more and more comfortable with the music (self acceptance?), I found that I also became more accepting of the actions and lifestyles of others. And not just with regard to music, but to various aspects of life. In the end, if Me ten years ago met Me today, the younger one would be disappointed, though the older one would understand. All I would say to the younger me, maybe, is that you never really will understand someone else’s love for escargots until you understand and accept your own love for grasshoppers. I can never purport to be without weakness, for to do so would be to claim that no other man is, an admission I know I am not willing to make.

How did my love for music transform into the ‘weaknesses’ of my neighbour? In case you have not already made the connection, the appreciation of my own blemish is the impetus for my ability to live with that of my neighbour. All I’m saying with all these words – is that if there is one thing – and there are many, that I have learnt from my experience in life, is that self acceptance is essential for the ability to be liberal. And no, you cannot really live with your neighbour, unless you are, at the very least, accommodating.

Before you berate me for my sacrilegious expressions, kindly note, being liberal is not the source of all evil. On the contrary, and it has been argued (even proved) that conservatism, in many cases, is a source of conflict, mostly internal, but many times, also external, drawing in those around us. Feel free to engage me on that one, but for now, accept yourself, regardless of what you are, who you are. It is the beginning of you accepting your neighbour. For if they did not accept themselves....